Another year-end. Time, as usual, to write some kind of year-end summary. Hoping I can keep the habit of actually writing them.
Tech
The first half of the year I was basically fumbling with k8s and kubeedge for my graduation project. After finishing the project I messed around with a Misskey instance and the blog (shut down Misskey in July and moved the blog to Notion...). In May I applied to OSPP and got in. Summer I worked on the OSPP project, but honestly efficiency at home was a bit low. I was actually a bit scared of the biweekly meetings. Then school started and I was still doing it, and I found that as I kept doing it, it got done. Looking back while tidying the project I thought it was pretty simple, what's so hard, why did it take so long, I'm so dumb... Sometimes I also wished someone could just lead me a bit instead of me fumbling alone. I'd probably improve faster, maybe find problems faster. But I also feel that doing it myself, fumbling myself, is also a learning process. Slow, but I got trained. Might as well keep going and see how far I can go.
From the second half until November I was probably all busy with OSPP (I'm too noob, sorry...). After that I looked at other open-source projects (volcano etc.). shrik3 recommended the Quark Container project. Opening issues in the community gets a response fast. I also watched the LFX and CNCF videos and I think it's pretty good. So I learned some Rust hoping to contribute to the community soon.
Some things I can see for myself, I know doing them is good, but it seems you need to pick the time. If you pick the wrong time to do them, it also seems to hurt you. So I put some things I should learn a bit later, and try to make my learning more systematic.
Next year I should keep contributing to Sedna, aiming to become someone who can /lgtm myself (saves trouble — you only need one more person to merge). I also opened a new pit in the KubeEdge community... Quark Container still has things I want to do... eBPF to learn too... so I probably won't expand into other open-source projects because there's already enough, I can't learn it all... keep at it.
I actually always had a tendency to get obsessed with something. Freshman and sophomore year, every time I wanted to get obsessed I stopped myself, because I wasn't sure this was the path I would take. I didn't dare sink in. Now I feel I can get obsessed, because I chose this path. But I don't know if I can still really get obsessed...
Life, social, feelings
I remember one night in January I couldn't sleep because my social life was a failing grade. After that pain I decided to join more social things. After that I basically didn't refuse anyone. Break: elementary-school reunion, mahjong with high-school classmates. After school started I also stayed in fairly frequent contact with high-school friends studying in Beijing. Went with wzy to Yonghe Temple to fulfill a vow, night-rode Chang'an Avenue, celebrated wzy's birthday, mahjong. Graduation, took graduation photos with roommates. Summer, eleven of us went to see Your Name (a huge procession...). Being in a crowd also let me see a bit more clearly where I sit in a crowd, and a bit more clearly whether some things call for going along. First half of the year I also met Aniao IRL — very happy! 🐱 Next year I'll try to arrange more IRL meetups with internet friends (if there's a chance). I still have a chronic illness: a passive mindset. Working on getting over that passivity. If social at the start of the year was a fail, end-of-year me can take a 55 (? still a fail but passing seems right in front of me XD), because I still don't know how to build connections with people...
In September I was in fairly close contact with a friend I'd already known. We ate a few times, went out twice. After feeling left out I chose to confess, then went through the failure I'd expected. Down for a while, then the mental state recovered. Because they were very different from me, I did learn some things from them. Anyway, thanks for meeting. In October I went home and talked a lot to friends. Thanks for listening. I already couldn't handle my own emotions, so I poured them out to friends and asked others to help dissolve them.
What did I learn from it? Probably that you don't need to cater to other people. Just be yourself.
This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Also don't enter the role so fast...
In November I couldn't sleep because I don't know how to build connections with people (insomnia again?) After that pain (pain again?) I decided to change. The ability to build connections with people (that's just making friends...) needs practice. If I don't change now, even at thirty it won't get better. So I feel I should go actively meet some people and make friends. Anyway, stay sincere and make friends.
What I want is the kind of trust that accumulates from one small thing after another. I still want to believe that kind of thing exists.
Books, film, music, anime
Over Chinese New Year I went with Mom to see YOLO. I was accompanying Mom, so as long as Mom was happy that's enough.
Then in the first half I also watched Jujutsu Kaisen and Frieren, went to the cinema for Haikyu!! The Dumpster Battle, Ryuichi Sakamoto | Opus. With wzy I saw The Boy and the Heron. On my computer I watched Robot Dreams. In summer zsh, dlh and I saw A Chinese Odyssey? wait 只此青绿 (A Glimpse of Green / Only This Green, zsh's idea). I slept through most of it. I think that's the first time I fell asleep in a cinema. Not napping at noon had something to do with it, but the movie itself being too boring was the root cause.
What else I watched in the first half I don't remember because I didn't record it... What I watched in the second half I actually put into an article, basically those. Now I'm watching the 06 fate/stay night, and there are still so many anime, manga, films I want to watch!
I found that songs I didn't seem to like before, I can listen to now. I feel it has to do with the heart being more open. That's a good thing. In November I started binge-listening to Sheena Ringo, couldn't stop. For three years straight my NetEase Cloud year-end recap top artist was Nagisa Kuroki, but I know next year it definitely won't be. Next year it'll be Sheena Ringo.
Didn't read many books this year... Amusing Ourselves to Death, Hathaway of the Flash... besides that, doesn't seem like there were any. Not a big problem though. I didn't read theory but I was practicing.
Electronics
In October I bought a desktop. Mom bought it. Thanks Mom. Installed Arch. 4070Ti Super running Stable Diffusion3. Still hesitating whether to put Windows on the desktop and Arch on the laptop, so taking the computer home to write code would be convenient, and Windows can still game. But switching systems and setting up environments is sooooo much trouble, so I'll probably drop it (but I probably still will switch...).
At year-end I used the OSPP stipend to buy a LazyCat microserver. Originally I imagined migrating notes and the blog onto it to save the Notion subscription. But migrating notes and the blog was not ordinarily troublesome, so I gave up (big fail at saving money!). Current use: store files and download torrents. Now the plan is just to migrate apps back to the laptop :( Even things that look shiny on the surface, once you put your hand on them you find the flaws. The product itself is impressive. I don't want to admit it, but I'm really not the target audience. I regret buying it...
In the end
That's about it for this year. Hope next year I can keep growing, observe a bit more carefully, go a bit deeper — deeper into tech, deeper into people, deeper into this world.
